Since, Now and Then...

Since some changes occuring in my life that might effect the whole damn future i felt like i needed to write, so here i am.

First, some may think that why the hell i'm writing in English ? Simple answer : Because i suck writing stuff in Turkish, i just can't. Really! I feel better while writing in English so whether like or not, this will be the way i will be writing. At least for now.

About those changes i mentioned, maybe i'm just dramatizing the situation but what the hell thats me. First move i broke up with Duygu (again ? yeah but for all this time :)), my three and a half year GF. Some might not believe this after all and i totally can understand what they think, but i can surely, positivle can say this is for real. I can say that because this feels right. I'm just this once comfortable with the idea and seriously have no regret doing this, just this once out of all those shit fights and break ups. So eventhough i don't know how true is that i am happy or i think that way. It's kinda confusing me sometimes that i think i might be pressing my feelings, but it also leads that my mind has control over my feelings. That's what i like so i "should" be happy right ?

Whatever the second big change, believe it or not this is even bigger than the first one. I quit fucking WoW ! For real! Hell yeah ! Well i might seem too happy about that, you think so? Well that's pretty much because i still struggle with the idea of quitting WoW, it's pretty much a detox to me atm. So bitchas !  do not fucking poke me to come back to wow if you're reading this! I do hope i can quit for real cuz i saw that i may have a lot of free time when i don't play.

The last change that i want to mention and the one i'm pretty new, i'm moving out. The idea is kinda cool and freaky aswell at the same time. It's cool in a lot of ways and they re mostly about fun... yeah you got it. On the other hand, i,m pretty much leaving the life i have been living for 22 years. It feels like my whole lifestyle gonna change with this. ( already mentioned that i might be dramatizing ) but anyway my life is going to change and no one likes changes ( at least i dont ) so it's freaky that way. It's freaky because i don't know whats on the otherside. Well some might like the idea of not knowing what comes next, but i think i'm a total control maniac. That's why i don't like changes. That is why i couldn't break up with Duygu earlier, and that is also probably why i am freaked out of moving out. Wish there was a F8 button in life.

As upcoming stuff... I fucking wanna quit smoking, started to annoy me that i can't !!!  Even now when i think about smoking, i just want to smoke right away.

Anyways.. to the changes.. cheers !